I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
my poor anus
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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