I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
