i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
ttyl tear gas
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
