I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
