I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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