Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
