Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
