My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
