I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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