I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
