my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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