What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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