you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize