Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
