Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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