His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My pussy is not your playground.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
