You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
