My nipple is on Facebook.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
