I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Hippo gnu deer
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
