Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
time to smoke my breakfast
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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