jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Fuck appropriateness.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
