Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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