i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
