Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You took a bar mat shot.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
