He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
