Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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