do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
