therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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