I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dick very happy bro
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
