She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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