I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
well you can't waste a boner
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Holy shit dude........stairs
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
