Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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