I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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