i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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