he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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