stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
