i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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