Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
