Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
