I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
