guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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