Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i dont even know how to be here
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
