non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
