I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
