i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Panties = found
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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