Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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