Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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