just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
