let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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