I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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