we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Everyone says I win the strip club
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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