You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
