I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
