Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
