Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
