shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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