ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Alive.
So much puke
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
