I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
