fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so let's talk penis.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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